Movies You Have To Watch Before The Apocalypse

In my opinion, the best and most anticipated movies of 2012. If the world really does end in December, at least you would have watched these ten movies, and your life would have been way more fulfilled than it would have been if you’d died without watching them. Also, maybe if some malevolent alien race decided to invade our planet, they’d watch one of the movies on this list and realize Earth is so cool it should not be exterminated. We’d all become best buddies and they’d travel here every few years to watch movies with us. See how powerful and useful this list is?

Right at the top of this list is, of course, The Hunger Games. In cinemas March 23.

I loved the books, so I’m really excited for the movies. I don’t even know how to express this desire in strong enough language. Harry Potter has ended for good, so right now the spot for favorite movie franchise is up for grabs. (Percy Jackson was a complete flop. Sorry. A lot of people thought it was good, but that’s because they’ve never read the book series, which is about 19874981274 times better than the movie.)

Jennifer Lawrence is completely perfect for the role of Katniss, and I am so pleased with the directors for choosing her. Josh Hutcherson, on the other hand, is a dubious choice. Hhis jaw is like, completely square. It’s like someone put his face into an ice-cube maker. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that he does justice to just about the sweetest, kindest male fictional character I’ve ever known. I don’t really like Gale, male chauvinist pig that he is, so, put bluntly, I don’t really give a damn who plays him. Liams Hemsworth seems okay though, so Gale fans out there, you can rest easy.

Here’s a trailer.

Second Runners-up goes to The Avengers. In cinemas May 4th.

I LOVE Captain America and Iron man. They are my favorite superheroes, hands down. Incredible Hulk? Too green, too ugly, and not exactly smart, funny or hot. Superman? Too male-chauvinist pig, and has no fashion sense at all. I mean, come on. Who wears red underpants outside their pants? Gross. Captain Underpants? Funny, but bald, naked, and completely uncool. Not the kind of person to have crushes on, unless you find bald, half-naked principals attractive. I haven’t watched Thor (I’ve been trying desperately to get hold of it illegally online, but it hasn’t worked so far) but I have a feeling the movie is pretty good as well.

Even if Thor turns out to be gross (which I highly doubt), The Avengers is still going to be one of the best movies of 2012 for sure. I mean, what other movie is going to be as action-packed, fast-paced, funny, touching, and filled with hot guys as The Avengers?

Here’s a trailer.

And, in Third place, The Dark Knight Rising. In cinemas July 20th.

Another superhero film. I don’t like Batman as much as I like Ironman and Captain America though, that’s why it’s third on this list. It would be lower, actually, but a lot of people (i.e. diehard batman fans like my mom) would come at me with pitchforks. But since it’s like, the last batman film and all that, it’s probably worth watching, and maybe tearing up because there isn’t going to be any more batman movies, unless twenty years down the road, they decide to film it again using some cool new filming technique. (like Titanic in HD)

Here’s a trailer.

Consolation prizes, in no order of merit. (i.e. random) 

4. Wrath of the Titans, March 30th (sequel to Clash of the Titans.)

5. Men In Black III, May 25h (I got this off wikipedia. Agent J travels in time to MIB’s early years in the 1960s, to stop an alien from assassinating his friend Agent K and changing history. I’m an expert at getting things off wikipedia.)

6. Ice Age, Continental Drift, July 13th (Ilove ice age. It is hilarious. Even you don’t find this film in the least interesting, chances are, you’ll be dragged along by your eager children/grand-children/younger siblings/demented, sappy parents/grandparents, etc. Don’t feel too sad about the prospect though, I think it’s going to be pretty good, unlike Cars 2, which I had the misfortune of going to.)

7. GI Joe: Retaliation, June 29th. (cool gadgets and agents.)

8. Snow White And The Huntsmen, June 1st (Chris Hemsworth! Kristen Steward! And also, the horribly unoriginal idea of twisting a fairytale into something unrecognizable that has worked fabulously in the past.)

9. Titanic, April 4th (Obviously just another ploy to suck out more money from innocent weepy middle aged moms, but I’ve never watched it, so I’d probably waste seven bucks on it.)

10. The Hobbit, December 14th (A Lord of the Rings sequel that follows Bilbo Baggins on his adventures. I love the Lord of the Rings trilogy, and the films were really, extremely good. One of the best I’ve ever watched, so I don’t think The Hobbit will disappoint, even though there isn’t Aragorn or Legolas)

And, (most reluctantly added as an afterthought), if you’re one of those cursed Twilight fans, then Breaking Dawn, Part 2, Nov 16th. Please forgive me if I have missed any nice movie out, and feel free to comment below, if you think any movie should be up here :)

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March 2012
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