Excuses, Excuses, I Need One!

Have you ever gotten tongue-tied when the time came when you needed a really good excuse for being late for school, cutting class, or not doing your homework? With this list of comprehensible excuses that you can practice in front of the mirror everyday, your brain will never fail you again. And your poor pet dog will not seem like such an incurable glutton. For more effective excuses, accompany them with a lot of weeping and wailing, and, well, apologies, if you must.

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When Counting Sheep Doesn’t Work

Are you an insomniac? I am a huge one. Five nights out of a week, I end up staring up at the ceiling for about three hours every day before finally managing to drift off to sleep. It drives me¬†insane.¬†My ceiling and I, as you can see, are very acquainted with one another. I’ve probably counted at least a billion sheep in my lifetime, and look where that’s gotten me. Well, at least I’d make a very good Shepard.

If you are a fellow insomniac, here a few things to do that might a) help you fall asleep (damn counting sheep) b) put your sleepless nights to good use.

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March 2012
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