Short On Cash? Here’s How To Earn Some Money

Are you are a little short of cash? Gambled away your family fortune in Las Vegas? Let your dog eat your bank notes? Don’t fret. Here Are 15 Hassle-Free Solutions to get you out of tight situations.  Yes, scream all you want. When you’re done, click the ‘continue reading’ button.

1a. Sell your notes to people. I happen to have loads of my exam notes lying around the house in massive heaps. If you do too, you could bind them into a book, make a few hundred copies, and sell ’em.

1b. Collect your exam papers and worksheets. If you’re too lazy to make notes, you could also bind your exam papers and worksheets. Parents love buying past-year papers.

2. Enter a competition. They usually have prize money.

3. Create an app. It’s usually the most retarded games that sell like hotcakes. Productivity apps are also really easy to create (in my very unexpert opinion) because they’re basically to-do lists when you take away all the fancy fonts.

4. Clean people’s cars. This world never runs out of people with dirty cars they are too lazy to clean. If your neighbourhood is full of sparkling clean cars, you can always sneakily spread mud over their cars and then offer to clean it off for them.

5. Set up a money-lending service with a 50% interest rate. Hang around a gambling den/casino with a bunch of name cards and some money.

6. Babysit. Never goes wrong. Be sure not to choose nut-case kids. Or parents, for that matter. The last thing you need is a long, complicated recipe for making organic pumpkin mashed… spinach frecaccio. I made that up.

7. Direct a play. Get a few of your friends and act out “Hamlet” or some similarly educational play by Shakespeare, Chekhov, or whatever you think your parents/teachers would approve of. Then sell tickets to your parents and teachers. You could even get extra credit.

8. Drag stuff out of your house to sell at a garage sale. Tables, chairs, fridges, TV sets, computers, boxes, trophies, fishing rods, toilet paper, Van Gogh paintings, a photo of your mom, bicycles, fish tanks- whatever. Just make sure your parents don’t come back to an empty house and get a cardiac arrest.

9. Sell lemonade. I really don’t know why this works, but it does. With global warming, the lemonade business gets more and more lucrative by the second.

10. Annoy the hell out of people until they give you money. Do this at your own risk, because you might end up with no friends, an extremely annoyed parent, and no money. On the other hand, if you do it well, you would’ve gotten a load of cash without even having done anything.

11. Learn how to juggle, then busk in the middle of a busy street.

12. Go around snooping for stuff to blackmail people about. Got a picture of Mr. Jenkins picking his nose? Heard about Tiffany kissing John in the storage cupboard?

13. Seduce and then marry someone rich and extremely old. Only do this if you are extremely desperate. You might also be accused of murder when the person dies, which is not good because instead of getting any money, you might be thrown into jail.

14. Help people do their homework. At a fee, of course. If you are too lazy to use your brains, prey on first or second graders who hopefully pay you to do stuff like, ’19+ 89 = ?’

15. Become a fortune teller. You’d be surprised at how many people would pay for a reading. To make sure you don’t look like a complete fraud, do palm reading. It’s the easiest, and you can check it up online.

Alright, so I lied. These aren’t really the best ways to earn money. Do you have any ideas? Comment below :D And, good luck. I’m off to stare at my Macbook air poster :)


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May 2012
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