- To the Hulk) “Dr. Banner, your work is unparalleled. And I’m a huge fan of the way you lose control and turn into an enormous green rage monster.”
- Tony Stark is having an argument with Thor in a forest for some reason. Thor: “You have no idea what you’re dealing with.
Tony Stark: “Shakespeare in The Park? Doth mother know you weareth her drapes?”
- Steve Rogers: “Stark, we need an attack plan!”
Tony Stark: “I have a plan. Attack!”
- Loki: (Touches his Tesseract staff to Stark, which only taps against Stark’s arc reactor with no effect-supposed to hypnotize him) “That usually works…”
Tony Stark: “Yeah, well, perfomance issues…”
- Steve Rogers: “Are you nuts?”
Iron man: “Jury’s out.”
- To Captain America: “You know, you might’ve missed a few things doing time as a capsicle.”
- To the Hulk: “You really have got a lid on it, haven’t you? What’s your secret? Mellow jazz? Bongo drums? Huge bag of weed?”
- Steve Rogers (sarcastic): “You’re all about style, aren’t you?”
Tony Stark: “Of the people in this room, which one is A – wearing a spangly outfit and B – not of use?”
- Tony Stark (regaining consciousness, he’s lying down and everyone’s standing around him): What just happened? Please tell me nobody kissed me.
Steve Rogers: We won.
Tony Stark: All right, hey! All right good job guys. Let’s just not come in tomorrow; let’s just take a day.
- Steve Rogers: Is everything a joke to you?
Tony Stark: Funny things are.
- Pepper Potts to Agent Phil Coulson: “Phil! Come in!”
Tony Stark: “Phil? Uh, his first name is Agent.”
- Maria Hill: When did you become an expert in thermonuclear astrophysics?
Tony Stark: Last night.
- Steve Rogers: How can you not trust Fury?
Tony Stark: He’s a spy, he’s THE spy. His secrets have secrets.
- Nick Fury: “Having trouble sleeping?”
Steve Rogers: “I’ve been asleep for 70 years. I think I’ve had enough rest.”
- Black Widow’s worried about attacking Loki, saying “they’re basically gods.”
Steve Rogers: “Ma’am, there’s only one God, and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t dress like that.”
- Steve Rogers: “Have you got a suit?”
Clint Barton: “Yeah.”
Steve Rogers: “Suit up!” (alright, this is memorable only because of the TV programme, How I Met Your Mother. A picture of Barney just popped out of my brain when he said that :D)
- Loki: Enough! You are, all of you are beneath me! I am a god, you dull creature, and I shall not be bullied…
(Hulk flattens Loki with repeated smashes into the floor)
Hulk: Puny god.
- Steve Rogers: “Doctor, this might be a good time for you to get angry”:
Hulk: That’s my secret, Captain. I’m always angry.”
-special thanks to Caleb Flanagan for remembering this :)
Loki (the villain who doubles up as comic relief)
- Nick Fury: “We have no quarrel with your people.”
Loki: “An ant has no quarrel with a boot.”
- Thor: (referring to humans): “You think yourself above them?”
Loki: “Well, yes.”
Nick Fury (the boss)
Thor: “Loki is a prisoner.”
Nick Fury: “Then why do I feel like he’s the only person on this boat who wants to be here?”