Captain America Is No Wimp!

Before I read this blogpost, I was stuck in a “why is Captain America so useless?” rut. Even Chris Evans himself criticized his own character, saying something along the lines of, “You have the Hulk ripping jets in half, and Thor is calling down thunder, and Iron Man is shooting missiles. And I’m, like, ‘I’ll take the stairs!” on the Late Night With Jimmy Fallon talk show on the 1st of May.

Now, though, I’m restored to my previous state of Captain America obsession. Okay, so he can’t fly, or blast Chatauri down with his nuclear blasters (or whatever those are.) He doesn’t have a hammer, and when he falls from a hundred feet, he dies. He can’t disappear and reappear at will, and he isn’t ten meters wide. He can’t flatten buildings just by standing on them.

But, as Chris Evans adds on in his interview, “He’s a good man.” Good? Did I just hear good? Captain America is my favorite superhero of all time, and if you’re going to insult Steve Rogers, you’re going to have to go through me first.

What’s wrong with using the stairs? The greatest heroes aren’t those with the most powerful nuclear blasters, or the heaviest hammers. The greatest heroes are those with the biggest hearts. (On a shallower sidenote, trendy capes help, too.)

Before you dismiss him as just another pretty face without an ounce of substance, let me just bonk you on the head with this heavy shield made of the hardest material in the world. Read this post, and I’ll try to change your mind. Well, if it doesn’t work, I might have no choice but to use to shield.)

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July 2020